I just. Don't. Know.

It was a busy day today, to say the least. A lot to take in, that's for sure.

And it's put me in this mood tonight that's just not very good, to be honest. It's not that there wasn't good parts to my day (lunch with mom, and a quick visit and chat with Lindsay, among other things) - but I just feel like I'm in system overload. There were a lot of things learned, and a lot of questions asked, and a lot of emotions felt all in the span of less than 12 hours.

I had interview number two today, and although I think it went well - I just don't know what to think about it. I know second interviews are tougher than the first, but I honestly don't know where I stand with them. My stomach feels like it's in one big knot.

I don't feel like being alone here tonight, but I also don't feel like leaving the comfort of my home. My mood is just so WEIRD. Anxiety? Probably. I hate it.

Ok. I can breathe now.

It really seems like the weekend just flew by. They always do, I know. But this one especially.

Friday night began with an unexpected trip to the hospital. Not for me, but to help out and visit my good friend Christine, who was. The good part was being able to help a friend that needed it, and also being able to have an unexpected little visit with both her and Lindsay – who'd just gotten back from holidays hours before. The bad part is being worried about my friend of course, no one likes being in the hospital, or having someone they care about in there.

I'll be having a few words with her about how stubborn she's being, but the good news (again) is that Christine was home the next day.

Saturday was a tad lazy to begin with, but quickly picked up the pace come mid-afternoon. The Boy and I had a 60th birthday party to attend, and I had to make myself pretty :)

It was a fabulous time, and a chance for me to get to know his childhood and close family friends and their wives and girlfriends better. Before I knew it, about 7 of us girls were running up to the bar to quickly grab another drink and jumping back on the dance floor. And did I mention that the dessert table was catered by Dessert Sinsations? Because even if I wasn't in the presence of fantastic company, the two pieces I had of their Berry Torte (my favourite) would have definitely ensured I had a good time anyway. Oh my God that cake is good.

Sunday was BUSY day. Up early, and straight to work on a project I needed to have done for Monday morning. A couple hours later, I was off to volleyball (and winning! Go Ninjas!), and then dashing back home to make dinner for my mom, dad and brother. (Whew!)

My dad is more than a little great. He's come to help me out sooo many times with this new place of mine, I can't even count. I appreciate him so much. Thanks to his quick handywork, I now have lights, a mirror and a brand new towel rack all installed in my freshly-painted bathroom. And I'd be willing to bet a pretty penny that they are all level to an exact if you were to test them. All of that with only a few swears uttered :)

Once The Family had headed home, I was back to the office to finish my project. Aaaaaaand, no wonder I didn't set an alarm this morning. Good thing I had a client to wake me with some changes at 8 this morning.

But I leave you all with some more good news - at least for me...I have a second job interview this week! Wednesday afternoon to be exact, so I really hope the weather cooperates this time.

Wish me luck! I'm pretty excited.

Friday Smile

I'm stealing the Friday Smile idea today, from my dear friend Lindsay (who I'm actually supposed to be leaving to pick up right about now).

My smiles today come from:

All the support comments I've gotten from yesterday's post, you all are awesome, thank you so much!

The fantastic week I've had. From a great interview yesterday, to a fully painted bathroom (with just some fix-ups and finishing touches to add before posting photos).

I got to have a lovely dinner here at my place with my parents on Tuesday night. I love that I have my place that's closer to them now, and that because I don't have to worry about doing laundry at their place - we can trade off the visits, and they can come here instead.

My dad's help on said Tuesday night. When taking things off the wall in the bathroom required tools I didn't have, he was here to help - and always is. I appreciate his help SO much, and even though my mom likes to tease me about it (and how I kinda have this priority level with him, hehe).

I found a thank you card for my dad today (yes, I love to give cards) that says, "If I were a monster, I'd be Thankenstein". I bought three, just in case of future thank-yous needed down the line :)

Happy Friday everyone, hope you all have a great weekend!

Goal: 40 Pounds Down

I don't usually make new year's resolutions. So this isn't a post that's a month late - this is me setting some goals for myself.

I've been feeling like crap lately, and I know that it's because I've gained weight. People have said I look fine, look great, etc - but I just. Don't. Feel it. I'm not the heaviest I've ever been, either - no where near. I'm still about 40 pounds below that mark. But part of the bad feeling is the fear of sloooowly creeping back up, there's no way I can let that happen. I worked hard to lose that weight, dammit!

Sooo, what's my problem then?

I put so many other things first. I'll procrastinate like no one's business. I know I make excuses, when I should really just power through a workout and get it done. I know I can do it, I have before. Two years ago, my boyfriend and I decided to try out P90X. It worked like nothing ever has for me before. I was down to my lowest weight ever, my pants for the first time since I was in the single-digit grades were in single digits! I could do CHIN UPS! With no support chair! I felt great.

But I got sick of it. I got tired of listening to the same guy on the DVDs, the same jokes, same everything. I stopped. And I've never really done consistent workouts since. I try to start again, and I don't finish.

I lost my job in October, and although it sucked, and I wasn't happy about it - I don't think I was depressed. I think it was kinda the opposite. After a few hours of self-pity, I realized it was time to move on from that job anyway. I felt revived in my career choice. Design was exciting for me again. With the help of some key freelance work, I was doing well for myself, and not worried about finding a new job right away.

But at the same time, I was working from home - and getting a little stir crazy. So, I'd go out and meet friends for lunch, because I had the time. Or meet a friend for coffee and a Starbucks-style snack in the afternoon. Not usually on the same day, but some times. That's where it started to add up. These social eating meetings have been terrible to me. Combined with actually being so busy with work at home - again, workouts got shuffled aside. I would do a few a week, but not enough to combat the poor eating.

So now it's time for me to make a change. I need to. If I don't, my mood is not going to get better, and neither is my health.

With that said, I would like to lose 40 pounds this year. I think by starting early in the year, it's attainable, and a healthy goal.

I'm hoping through this blog, and the support of you that read it, it will help me stay on track. I'm hoping you'll talk with me about what you all do to keep fit, or reach your goals. And hopefully you don't mind me suggesting things to you. Maybe it's healthy recipes, or things I do in my workouts, and even just progress marks.

Monday is February first, it's the day I get serious.

Here's my list of things to do to really kickstart this goal:

Workout, minimum 5 days a week

Ideally, it's 6. With a mix of P90X workouts for strength and toning, and Insanity workouts on alternate days for cardio.

Drink more water

I don't drink nearly enough, and it's already bitten me once. Goal starts at 1.5 L per day.

Eat better

This is where I've slacked the most. Nothing unhealthy will come into my house. Meals will be planned, and recipes will be healthy. I will allow myself one cheat day per week - because balance is key.

Weigh myself only once per month, at the END of the month

I so easily get off track when I see that I've made progress, or discouraged when I don't. I can't do this anymore.

Take a self-photo at the beginning, and at the end of each month

These will NOT be posted on the internet. I have limits, people. It's a pretty big step for me to even be talking this personally on here. I may get more confident as months pass.

Blog

What I've done, good or bad, for myself each day. Maybe if I see it in writing, it'll hit home faster. I hope so.

I think those are good starting points to aim for, and I have others in mind already for the next step. Do you have any others for me? I'm really hoping for all the support I can get here :)

Worst. Friend. Ever.

My friend, and former coworker Kim, is having a reading tonight of her first book, Tasting Rain. I meant to post earlier today, telling all of the Winnipeg folk reading this to go if you had no plans for the evening already. But, I didn't. Argh!

Anyway, it's too late now - but not too late for me to tell you about the book. You see, Kim had quite the story tell. She met the man of her dreams, just after he'd been diagnosed with terminal cancer. His prognosis and outlook was grim, but they both couldn't deny how they felt about each other - and decided to be together as long as they could.

Her story is sweet, heartbreaking, and without a doubt inspiring to those who can identify with her, and even those who can't.

If you like, you can visit Kim's site here, or purchase her book here.

"Does this still smell okay to you?"

Unless it's a dire circumstance of a closed grocery store and a huge craving for a late night bowl of cereal, I will usually not touch a carton of milk that's even one day past its expiry date. Silly? Overcautious? Maybe.

But I'm that way with a lot of foods. If something looks perfectly fine, but has been in my fridge for too long...there's a pretty good chance it will either be thrown out right then and there, or left until there is no doubt that it should not be eaten. Which is usually when it requires a clothespin on the nose and rubber gloves to remove from the fridge.

Yet, there's some things that I have no problem eating when they are clearly past their expiry date. Eggs, salad dressing, mustard. I don't get it either.

I've made it a goal of mine to waste less food from now on. I hate to admit it, but I tend to throw a lot out. I need to get better at using what I have, planing out meals better, and hopefully, reduce the monthly grocery bill tally.

Stilltasty.com is a site I came across about a month ago, and I find it so useful and interesting. They have so many common food questions answered, there's guaranteed to be several that you've asked at one time or another too. Check it out!

In the meantime, I think today might have to be fridge clean-out day :(

Must. Keep. Post Streak... Going!

I'm so determined to keep blogging on a regular basis this time. SO determined that I'm going to try to put something up on here every day for a full week.

It was an exciting day here in the Land of Amber Dawn. I had an interview scheduled this morning, go figure, on the worst blizzard of the season so far. I was awake early, and ready to go with plenty of time to spare (a small feat on its own, if you know me, and "Amber Time" being at least 10 minutes late for almost everything).

I got out to my car, out of my parking spot without any snow issues, through the lot...and stuck. 10 feet away from the parking lot exit. Dammit. Thanks to the help of three kind (and more than a little annoyed) gentlemen, I got reversed enough so I could drive back INTO the parking, back to my spot, and phone the interviewer to tell her I just could not make it today. They were totally understanding. Even more so because my interviewer didn't even come into work today. HUGE sigh of relief.

I put my early rise to work though, it was a productive day - and it's not over! I've taken down as much as I can off the walls in my bathroom, and patched all the walls and around the ceiling fan. For the record: patching a ceiling is HARD. Holy crap.

Once that all dried, it was the moment I'd been waiting for...painting! My bathroom ceiling is no longer mint green! I feel so happy. There's still a second coat to go in an hour or so, and in the meantime, I've made a jump on getting my taxes ready to go too.

Amidst all that comes this hilarious video of Brendan Fraser that I can not stop watching (and laughing at):

It's definitely been a full day. And I'm starving. A day like today definitely calls for breakfast for dinner, in my opinion.